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A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States.  (via 33113)

(Source: africandogontheprairie, via trust-me-im-the-editor)

When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.
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2 days ago

ancient australian proverb (via telescopics)

(via humanitys-greatest-soldier)

maccas run
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2 days ago

weteevee:

parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

(Source: flygoing, via trust-me-im-the-editor)

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2 days ago

okusuck:

IMAGINE IF SIMON COWELL WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU WERE SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID “ITS A NO FROM ME”

(via smaugyoudumbmagpie)

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2 days ago

asmilinggoddess:

my mom: not too much eyeliner. guys find too much eyeliner unattractive

me:

image

(via smaugyoudumbmagpie)

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2 days ago

dialupmodem:

tbh if u really think that iphone users are elitists ask ANY nerd why they prefer android n they’ll go on and on for hours, insulting the phone, steve jobs, tim cook, their entire families, everyone that works for apple, the schools they all attended, and their mothers’ lasagna recipes 

(via threewords-imthedoctor)

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2 days ago

peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

(via augoddess)

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2 days ago
villainery:

awwww-cute:

What can I get for you?

4 bottles of vodka and 2 packs of Marlboro reds

villainery:

awwww-cute:

What can I get for you?

4 bottles of vodka and 2 packs of Marlboro reds

(via augoddess)

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80986
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2 days ago
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